Ego States

TA posits that people operate from three ego states, which are distinct patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving:

• Parent: Behaviors, thoughts, or feelings copied from parents or authority figures. It can be nurturing (caring, supportive) or critical (judgmental, controlling).

• Adult: Objective, rational, and present-focused state, dealing with reality and problem-solving.

• Child: Behaviors, thoughts, or feelings replayed from childhood. It can be natural (spontaneous, playful), adapted (obedient or compliant), or rebellious.

People switch between these states during interactions, and understanding which state someone is in helps analyze communication.

2. Transactions

Transactions are the basic units of communication in TA, consisting of a stimulus (what one person says or does) and a response. Transactions can be:

• Complementary: When the ego states align (e.g., Adult-to-Adult: “What time is it?” “It’s 11 AM.”). These lead to smooth communication.

• Crossed: When the ego states misalign (e.g., Adult-to-Adult stimulus gets a Child-to-Parent response: “What time is it?” “Why are you always so impatient?”). These can cause conflict or misunderstanding.

• Ulterior: When there’s a hidden message (e.g., saying “You’re late again” in a Parent tone may imply criticism beyond the surface statement). These involve covert communication.

3. Strokes

Strokes are units of recognition or attention that people seek in interactions (e.g., a smile, compliment, or criticism).

• Positive strokes: Affirmation or praise (e.g., “Great job!”).

• Negative strokes: Criticism or disapproval (e.g., “You messed up.”).

• Conditional strokes: Given for doing something (e.g., “I like you when you’re on time.”).

• Unconditional strokes: Given for being (e.g., “I love you.”). TA suggests people need strokes to thrive, and negative strokes are sought if positive ones are unavailable.

4. Life Scripts

A life script is an unconscious life plan formed in childhood, influenced by parents and early experiences. It shapes how people view themselves and their life trajectory.

• Scripts include beliefs like “I must always succeed” or “I’m not good enough.”

• TA therapy often involves identifying and challenging limiting scripts to foster healthier behaviors.

5. Games

Psychological games are repetitive, unconscious patterns of behavior with predictable outcomes, often involving ulterior motives.

• Example: The game “Why Don’t You, Yes But” involves someone asking for advice but rejecting all suggestions to maintain control or avoid responsibility.

• Games reinforce negative feelings or beliefs and prevent authentic communication.

6. Contracts

In TA therapy, contracts are explicit agreements between the therapist and client (or between individuals) to work toward specific goals. They emphasize mutual responsibility and clarity in achieving change.

7. Goals of TA

TA aims to help individuals:

• Achieve autonomy by becoming aware of their ego states, scripts, and games.

• Improve communication through complementary transactions.

• Develop healthier relationships by understanding and adjusting their interactions.

• Rewrite limiting life scripts for personal growth.

Practical Applications

• Therapy: TA is used to address personal issues, improve self-awareness, and change dysfunctional patterns.

• Relationships: Helps couples, families, or coworkers understand and improve communication.

• Organizations: Applied in management and team dynamics to enhance collaboration and resolve conflicts.

Key Principles

• People are OK: Everyone has inherent worth and the capacity for growth.

• Everyone can think: People can make decisions and take responsibility for their lives.

• Decisions can be changed: Past decisions (e.g., scripts) can be re-evaluated and altered.